Toby Can Speak – Poetry

I would like to say 5 words to each and every person tonight. 

I am proud of you.

You’ve done so much to get to where you are, you made it so far 

and you deserve happiness – for each bruise, pimple and scar

You’ve fought each battle in your life to the best of your ability.

And no matter who stands in your way, no matter the enemy.

You are doing your best, you are worth it.

And I am proud of you. 

Discharge happy thoughts. Discard dismal dialog distracting you from your best destination.

You can disagree with me, but that doesn’t change the fact that 

I’m proud of who you are. 

Whether you finally finished that essay that can forever alter your grade.

Or you just got out of bed, did nothing else and then came here.

You did amazing. That essay wasn’t going to write itself

And you still got out of bed, we’ve all been there, you did something. That’s all that matters.

We all need some love. We all need a hug.

Let the person next to you understand they’re loved.

This may seem sappy, it may seem clique.

But maybe, just this once, clique can be okay. 

You guys did your best, 

even if you did nothing, you deserved that rest.

So tonight. Don’t clap for me. Clap for yourself. 

Clap as loud as you can because you deserve that sign of wealth. 

That personal wealth that means you love yourself.

Seize your day.

And never forget.

I am proud of you.

Since I first started you’ve always Followed me.

Fuck, you’ve been in my life so long, you’re practically family.

But I guess that’s just how it is,

When you’re stuck with this partner since before youre grandparents Were kids.

It’s literally in my blood, it’s in my

Heritage something I can never get

enough of.

And no matter where I go no matter where I stay no matter how I sleep

 I know you’ll follow me to the day my hair is gray

If I can reach that day

If you will let me

When I was 5 you took the man I love the most

when I was 7 it was my uncle.

When I was eight you took my best

Friend’s mom

I knew these people I could sing their songs of life that you stopped you took the symphony and threw it away

How am I supposed to say I’m okay 

when before I could even have a chance to understand I already knew the way The Game of Life is played

From 10-17 it wasnt me, but i saw the crushed faces of my friends as they lost more family

When i was 18 you took one of the first faces i met in college, disguised as herself, ending her life before she could see a dream come true.

Maybe I’m too naive everyone looks at me and say I’m just a geek I’m always too happy

You never see death take someone you love away from you

 you’ve never see their eyes as they fade away

It feels like there hasn’t been a day in my life where people havent died

 I’ve lost Heroes, I’ve lost family, I’ve lost friends  so when are you taking mine

You been in my life since I was five

 so tell me

 when are you done playing this game and when are you taking mine

Please, stop playing this game and just take mine.

LETTING GO

 I always heard the phrase “if you love something let it go, if it was meant to be Itll come back”

But the truth is I’m clingy, and every night feels like another battle inside my chest the constant beating as my heart beats itself up, banging against the jail cell they call a rib cage, wishing to break away from the pain of letting go because it chooses to love something it can’t have, at least not just yet.

 A free spirit should not be held down, I repeat that sentence to myself every night that you are away, a free spirit should not be held down

As i beat myself up for falling in love with a Forest Nymph who I know shouldn’t be held down in a city, 

But i cant help but look at my star, and see that smile so pretty.

The only smile I wish to have, but you journey away every other day to complete another page in the book of life they wish to write. If I said no, that would not be right.

To deny someone of their journey, of happiness, to combate my loneliness? 

I would rather watch my Forest Nymph ride off in a horse they paid for themselves, and changed it forever making a mark on what the horse used to be, making it hers in this brand new adventure. 

I would rather watch than be with her, because that’s her happiness and she’s my world. 

I can find something else to buy the time, to remain happy without you, until the stars line up right, and I see my Forest Nymphs smile again. 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton