It’s not fair.

I have been craving this one thing for months.

This was supposed to feel like finding the last puzzle piece, the powerful endcap to the boulevard of broken dreams, 

I figured out the final ingredient for this recipe yet I feel just as incomplete as I was in the beginning. 

It’s not fair.

I repeat every step as I begged the universe for affection, we set tension in the air yet restless fan fiction of a lonely boy is my final destination. 

I’m tired of this game, this incomplete affair we are now in. 

I’m stuck in single player, as I begged for a placeholder in my bed.

It’s not fair.

I learned the final ingredient wasn’t just someone to talk to until the day became new, it didn’t matter if I had a new view to look forward too.

Because my missing ingredient is and always has been you.

I had that and now that I lost that spice forever, it’ll haunt my dreams. 

It shouldn’t be fair.

But when is life? 

And when did I ever deserve that final happy ingredient?

Because as I scream into the void yelling “it’s not fair!” When did I deserve it in the first place?? To not have my bed feel bare.

Maybe after all, it is fair. And my destiny to bare.